Question #134 - Write about the time you left the nest, and the first time you moved far away from home.

Well, I moved out of my parents' house on January 2, 1999. I moved allllllll the way down the street. A whole 11 houses down, whew! Big move, I know!! LOL! My parents bought the the 2 family home on the corner of the street I grew up on, and I've been living here for 10 years now. Of course, I was scared of moving here. Mostly scared about trying to pay almost all the bills myself! I was working at Headstart at the time, my second year there. So I actually did have enough to cover things, and to afford going out and stuff like that! When I had to quit my job a year later, I thought I'd have to move back in with my parents, but I figured out a couple things, and have been able to live here all this time.

I love being in my own apartment. A friend recently told me that a couple of our friends don't always like the loneliness of having their own place, but I can honestly say that I've never really felt lonely here. I have Mittens, which is nice. But if I want to talk to someone, I pick up the phone and call. I spend so much time online chatting with people, that it keeps me occupied, too. I just have so much freedom of doing my own thing in my own place, not having to worry about another person and their habits and such. This doesn't say much if I ever meet a decent guy one day and things start going well. LOL I don't know what I would be like living with another person again, but if that were ever to happen, I'd have to really adjust to not being alone!! But, I don't have such high hopes, so I'm not too worried!! lol

Question #133 - Write about feeling loved and by whom.

I know that I am loved by my family, even when we don't always say it to each other. I'm trying to get better at that. I'm try to tell them I love them often, but a lot of times I forget. It's sometime I really need to work on!

I love my friends very much, but I don't say it enough to them, either. I'm going to hope that my friends love me, even though they don't say it either! lol

As far as being in love with someone, well that hasn't happened too often. I take that back. I have been in love with 2 men, but one of them, I knew in my heart didn't feel the same way about me. That ended up really hurting me in the end, but I also learned a lot from it at the same time. Last year, I thought I was falling in love again, and it was exciting because he was feeling the same way. Unfortunately, that just didn't end up working out in the end.

I'm not sure I just really answered the question. lol I do know that many people love and care for me in my life, even if it's not said in so many words. And that makes me feel happy, and good about myself. There must be something people see in me that makes them care for me a lot! Even if they aren't saying so. :)

Question #132 - Write about something you are grateful for.

There are so many things I am grateful for in my life. Living with an unpredictable disease can do that to some people. The little things in life seem to matter most every day. I think what I am grateful for most are the people in my life. My family means the world to me, and they always will. But I also have friends who are so very important in my life. I love them just as much. For me, it's hard to distinguish levels of love between family and friends. Everyone in my life is extremely important to me, and I love them all so much, and for all different reasons. I do thank God quite often for allowing me to be so lucky to have such wonderful family, and great friends. I'm not sure I'd be where I am today without them!

Question #131 - Describe your favorite winter activities.

Winter is more difficult for me than the summer. At least with the summer, if I don't go anywhere during the day, I can open up windows and my front door and enjoy the warmth. I'm closed in during the winter, and sometimes shut in for days! Some of my favorite things to do on cold winter days include:

*make hot chocolate
*have a pajama day!
*play on the laptop all afternoon
*make jewelry
*read and/or take a nap (usually it's both! lol)
*clean, if I'm really really bored

I have to plan my days around the weather usually in the winter. Pulmonary rehab has been a nice thing for me to escape to most days, but if it's way too cold out to go there, I try to exercise at home on my treadmill. I also try to get to the stores when the weather isn't bad, and to visit Mandy and the kids, as long as they aren't sick! Winter is pretty yucky, and I usually can't wait until it ends!!!

Question #130 - What's my favorite Christmas present I remember getting?

There have been sooo many Christmas presents over the years. Top gifts I remember have included a black rabbit, a hockey table, a Cabbage Patch doll, and Tickle Me Elmos! I have loved so many of my gifts, even if I can't remember them all!!

I would have to say, though, that my favorite Christmas present is the one that is trying to bite my hand right now!! Mittens was a gift from Erin, one of my best friends, and I surely thought I'd never get a cat from someone! I've loved cats so much since I was little, but just couldn't ever have one because half my family is allergic to them. So to actually get a bundle of fur in the shape of a kitten was so exciting for me! And Mittens has become my son, despite the fact that he isn't human!! lol

Question #129 - What's my favorite Christmas memory?

Yes, it's been awhile since I answered a question! I go through spurts where trying to answer one every day just gets very boring. Too much thinking!! LOL

I think my favorite memory about Christmas would have to be going to see Santa Claus at the now defunct Rainbow Mall, down near the Falls. For the longest time, when we were kids, the Santa Claus was the most awesome Santa ever! He seriously looked like Santa, with a real beard, and a genuine laugh. He spent several minutes with every child who sat on his lap, and after we told him our desires for that year, he would give us an envelope of pixie dust. He told us we had to sprinkle it in the snow on Christmas Eve, so he would see it twinkle, and he'd know he had to stop at that house to bring toys. He just seemed so real to so many kids! I was sad many years ago when I found out he had passed away. I honestly don't think I'll ever see another Santa who could just feel so authentic!

Another favorite memory is when my sisters and I would open our gifts to each other on Christmas Eve. I always looked forward to those gifts. Somehow they meant so much more than gifts from Santa, because they were from my sisters. It was also fun to have something to do while waiting for our parents to get up in the morning, so we could open up the gifts!!

Question #128 - What was my favorite birthday? What was the best birthday gift I ever got?

One of my most memorable birthdays would have to be when I turned 25, I believe. A bunch of us got dressed up and hit the bars down on Third Street. At the one bar we went to, we knew the owner, and he gave me a bottle of champagne to celebrate! I don't remember paying for a drink at all that night, and I know that I got pretty trashed. lol But, it was fun! I danced with my friends and my sister, and by the time I got home, I just crashed in my bed with all my clothes on!

My birthday this past September would have to be one of my favorites recently. We went bowling, and it was a blast! I haven't bowled in ages, and neither had anyone else. It was a great time, and we had a lot of laughs!! I'd definitely love to go again sometime, just for something fun and different to do!

I have gotten so many great gifts over the year for my birthday, that I just can't pick one out that's my favorite. I honestly love that my family and friends spend time celebrating my birthday with me. That is way better than the gifts!!

Question #127 - Describe my first driving experience.

My parents used to have a big station wagon when I could have gotten a driver's permit in high school. While I got my permit, I really didn't want to drive that car! It was too huge!! Unfortunately, that was the only car I could really practice with. But, I didn't get my driver's license until I was 20. By that time, my parents had bought a car for my sister, Lisa, and I to use. It was a 1987 Buick Skylark, and it was definitely smaller than the big station wagon! I remember going for my driver's license road exam. I was so worried about failing with the parallel parking, but I aced that. I got 2 marks against me, and I think one of them was for being too far left in the road. I passed the road test the first time, and I wanted my mom to drive home for some reason! I also remember on my first trip to my dad's workshop without an adult, I was at a light, and when it turned green, I turned left immediately without waiting for the other car who had the right of way. I was very lucky that I wasn't hit, but I realized it was such a stupid mistake, that I didn't do it ever again!! That was really what I remembered as part of my first driving experiences after I got my license!!

Question #126 - Did I have a favorite blanket or toy growing up?

I don't really remember having a favorite blanket growing up, but I had several favorite toys. One was my Barbie. She was the Peachs N Cream Barbie, with a long peach gown and a peach wrap thing to go around her shoulders. I also liked my Barbie car, with seat belts! Of course, I always got so frustrated with the seat belts that I never put them on. lol I also used to like my Hot Wheels car that had a key you put in the back of it. I loved my Cabbage Patch, and I named her Idaline Marie. My aunt made a bunch of clothes for her, and for my sister's Cabbage Patch dolls. I really liked my Transformer, too! It used to turn into a microscope that I could really use! Oh, and I had a Pound Puppy that I loved, too! I guess I really didn't have one toy that I loved for a long period of time! And the funny thing is, I still have everything, except the Transformer. And the Barbie car!

Question #125 - Am I a forgiving person? Is there anyone I need to forgive, and what's the game plan?

I usually don't get into fights are arguments with many people. At least, I try not to! But there have been some instances where I've really gotten into it with someone in my family, or an occasional friend. I've gotten very angry with some people, and although I have forgiven them for whatever it was they made me mad about, it took an awful long time. I've had to reason with myself sometimes to just say I'm sorry, because there have been grudges that just aren't worth staying angry over. Recently, though, I can't seem to forgive someone who hurt me really bad over the summer. After spending over a year getting really close with him, and then a summer of it all falling apart, then big misunderstandings, it's going to take me a while to forgive him for being so selfish. He still wanted to be friends a month after we had stopped talking, and that made me even angrier. I know I will let go eventually. We don't even communicate anymore. But right now, even though I should forgive because it doesn't matter anymore, I just can't seem to do it. I guess I still hurt, and it's because he just didn't get it!! I know I will one day, but just not right now.

Question #124 - Am I a good listener? How can I improve this?

A lot of people tell me I am a good listener. I like to be there for someone. If they are ranting and raving, or crying and upset, I am there to listen if they need me. So I'm not sure how much I can improve on that! What I CAN improve on is cutting off my mom when she's trying to tell me something. I do it often. I don't really do it on purpose, it's just kind of a reaction. I think I know what she is going to say, so I disagree right away, or say something else about it, and she gets rather irritated that I've cut her off. AGAIN. Sooo, I would say that I really need to try harder and let my mom finish talking and finishing her thoughts BEFORE I interrupt or respond!! I know she would soooo agree with me on this, too!!!

Question #123 - Am I a good communicator? How can I improve on this?

I think sometimes I am a good communicator, and in some situations, I'm not. If I'm talking about a subject I know and understand, then I can go on about it without hesitation. If I'm put on the spot with a question, I don't do too well with that. I feel like I fumble and can't get my words out right. I end up being nervous and wish I could run away!! I'm usually good at trying to describe things to people, except for directions. I'm horrible with directions, and I usually just say I don't know how to get there if someone asks me!!

How can I improve on any of this?? Be prepared?? Try not to be so nervous?? Maybe admit if I don't know something, and not worry about it too much?? I don't know!!

Question #122 - What is your favorite music group? Why?

I love music, and I love a wide variety of music. The only music I really don't like is country, and heavy metal. Music helps me get into the mood to do stuff, like clean, or gets me out of a funk if I'm feeling yucky or irritated. I have a lot of musical talents that I really like, but there are a couple that just absolutely get me moving and grooving when I hear them. Janet Jackson is one artist who I've loved since I was a little girl. Whenever I felt sick, or really tired, I liked to listen to her songs, and I would perk up. I've seen Janet in concert twice, and the shows were well worth the ridiculous amount of money I paid!! I have Janet's music on everything from my computer to my phone, and it doesn't matter that I've heard the songs a thousand times. Every time I hear one, it's like it's the first time all over again!

I also love the Barenaked Ladies. They are a Canadian band that slowly grew popular in the U.S. I've seen them many times in concert, and they are the funniest band I've seen perform! Their songs are quirky and fun, and some of them don't make sense, but that is what's so entertaining about these 5 men! Yes, the Barenaked Ladies are a group of men, and NO they are not naked!!! LOL!

Simon & Garfunkel is another group I've loved since I was little, and that is because of my dad. He would always listen to the records, or sing along to one of their songs on the radio when I was little. Whenever I hear one of their songs today, I immediately think of my dad. I never ever thought I would see Simon & Garfunkel play live, considering they weren't even together anymore, until several years ago. They got together again for a tour, and I saw them live in Buffalo with my parents. I will never forget when they both came on stage at the beginning. I actually cried! And I don't cry that easily!! It was sooo emotional! Not only was I able to see them play TOGETHER, I was there with my dad. Out of all the concerts I've been to (and there have been a lot!), the Simon & Garfunkel one is on top of my list of favorites, for sure!

Question #121 - What is my favorite food? When I cook for my family, what do I enjoy making most?

I love pasta. And cheese. Pasta and cheese together is fabulous! I pretty much enjoy a lot of foods, and I'm usually willing to try things at least once to see if I like it. I don't have a family living with me to cook for, but I've had my parents over to eat several times. I think my favorite thing to make is tuna noodle casserole. It was a dish my mom made when we were growing up (not everyone's fav though, I know Mandy won't ever eat it again lol), and I know she still makes it today. In fact, when either one of us say we are going to make it, we ask if we are invited over. lol It's just a yummy dish! Oh, and I like it either hot or cold! And sometimes it's good for breakfast!!

Question #120 - What is my full name, and who am I named after? If I could change my name, what would it be?

My first name is Colleen, an Irish name since my Mom's side of the family is Irish (and Polish). I know I have my last name on another website, but I'm not keen on putting it here. And I wouldn't put my middle name here, either!! In this day and age of identity theft, it would be rather foolish of me to type my entire name! Let's just say my last name is very German, my Dad's side of the family. I don't think I'd change my name to anything else, though. I rather like it! I do know that if I had been a boy, my name would have been Joel. Not sure I like that name. And I hope I don't offend any Joels who may read this!!!

Question #119 - What pets have I had? Which one was my favorite?

My first pet was a hamster. I don't remember its name. I don't really remember how old I was when I had it. Well, we had it. Lisa and Mandy were around when we had it, but I don't remember if Joan was yet. Actually, she may have been a wee little one. So I'd say I would have had to be around the age of 8 or so. Anyway, I always get picked on about this, but for SOME REASON, I decided it would be cool to see what would happen if I hit the hamster on the head with it's water dish. Well, the poor hamster stopped moving, and I saw some red near it's mouth. Yes, stupid little 8yr old Colleen killed the hamster!! I still feel bad about that, and I actually still remember my insides shaking when I had to explain what happened to the poor little guy. I believe the hamster is buried in the backyard at my parents' house. Sorry little hamster!!!

We used to have a big aquarium for awhile in the dining room, and lots of cool fish. My favorite one was a silver dollar named George. He lasted awhile, even after the aquarium was taken down. He was then put in a big bowl on the shelf in the living room until he died. I think it's where my love of all things aquatic started!!

The next pet I remember getting is a black rabbit one Christmas. I can still remember my dad leaving for the basement, and coming back a few minutes later with this furry thing in his arms. He put it in the living room and we were so surprised! Shockingly, we named the rabbit.....Blacky!! Blacky stayed with us for a few years. He lived outside in a big wire cage during the summer, near the broccoli my mom would plant (big mistake, Blacky wasn't too happy that he couldn't reach the leaves, and I'd hear him thumping his foot!!). In the winter, we kept him in the basement. I remember letting Blacky run around the basement to get exercise, and one time he hid under my dad's workbench area. I tried to get him, and he bit me! It was the worst pain, it felt like an electrical charge went through me. I actually thought I had hit a loose wire, until I saw the bit marks!! Blacky was a nice pet, though, but sadly he eventually had to be given away. My dad was really allergic to him, and a couple of my sisters as well. We were told Blacky went to my dad's friend's farm. It really was kinda sad!

When I was in middle school, we got a parakeet. I don't remember exactly how long we had it, but I used to let the bird sit in its cage on the front porch in the summer, to get fresh air! One day, Lisa was playing with the cage, and the next thing I knew, the bird flew out. I was beyond upset! I remember going up and down the street on my bike, looking to the trees, to see if I could find it. Like it really would have come back! My parents took me that night to the pet store to pick out another bird, and I got a yellow one, and named her Melon. Melon lasted a loooooong time, at least 8 years believe. I remember having her all through high school and part of college. Melon was kind of a soulmate. She taught herself to get out of her cage and fly to me. She used to nap with me on my pillow. I just loved that bird! I used to have to twist tie the cage doors shut when my Grandma would visit so Melon wouldn't get out and fly around, because my Grandma hates birds. Melon started getting sick one year, and it got to the point where I had to keep her in a shoebox and feed her with a dropper because she would keep falling off her perch. When Melon died, I was incredibly sad. I never had a pet that was so attached to me before, and vice versa. My mom got me another bird the next day, but that one (Mokey) just was never the same!

Our family got our first dog in 1994, a couple months after my grandpa had died. I remember going to Lewiston with my mom and one of my sisters (Mandy maybe??), and sitting in a car while our mom went into a house for several minutes. We thought it had something to do with grandpa, but when she came out with a puppy in her arms, we wondered what the heck was going on! Mom said the puppy was coming home with us! WHAT?????? We got home with the puppy, and kept her on the porch for a bit, trying to feed her milk, and showing her off to the neighbors. My mom brought the puppy into the house, and into the bedroom where my dad was. He didn't look too pleased about it! It was rather strange, because my mom never really wanted a dog when we were growing up, and here she brought it home and my dad was acting if-fy about it! Anyway, my mom named the puppy Lady. Lady was a black Lab, with some white in her chest and on her nose, and with 2 different colored eyes. Lady loved all of us, and we all loved her, but I would have to say my dad became her biggest fan. Lady, sadly, only lived to be about 4 years old because she got really sick (we think by eating the sprayed grass from the lady next door). My parents brought her to the vet several times, and they tried to help her, but there wasn't much they could do. My parents finally decided to have Lady put to sleep, but the night before they were to take her, Lady crawled into the hallway to my parents' bedroom. My dad sat down with her, and Lady crawled into his lap and died. I was sick at that time, and coughing my brains out, and I was going to go down for medicine, but my mom came upstairs with some. She told me that Lady had just died, and she didn't want me to go down there. It was just an awfully sad situation. Lady is still missed today, we reminisce about her every once in awhile!!

Our next family pet was another dog, originally named Maggie. This little mutt (seriously, even the vet wasn't sure what she consisted of!) came to us by way of my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob drove up from Horseheads, NY with this little mutt to see if we wanted her. She was cuuuuuuuuuute!! We decided to keep her, but her name had to go! Since my mom got to name Lady, my sisters and I wanted to name this dog, and we decided on Shelby, from our favorite movie, Steel Magnolias! Shelby is still around today, living down the street with my parents. Although she is not a puppy (I think she is 9), she still acts like it sometimes because she's a little dog!! She's got more energy than I do!!

When I moved into my apartment, I brought Mokey along with me, and I kept him in my bedroom. I tried to get Mokey to come out of the cage, but when he was out, he just wasn't a happy camper. He certainly wasn't anything like Melon was, and I didn't feel so attached, but one morning when I got up, I realized Mokey wasn't chirping or moving around as usual. I got my glasses on, took the blanket off the cage, and there he was, laying on the bottom. He had died some time during the night. And for not totally loving this bird as much as I had my other one, I cried so hard. I called my best friend at the time, because I was just so upset about it. I ended up getting rid of the cage and everything, and said that I had had it with birds!!

Three days after Mokey died, I got an early Christmas present. My best friend (now) Erin called me to ask if I was going to be home for awhile, and when I said yes, she said she was coming over with my Christmas gift. I hung up the phone, and started shaking a little. The only gift I thought she could be giving me that early before Christmas was a cat. Half an hour later, the doorbell rings. Erin and her fiance (at the time, they are now married) were at the door. Erin was holding something up near her neck, and when they got in the house, there was a tiny orange ball of fluff! Erin HAD gotten me a kitten, and all the stuff for it, too!! I held the kitten for at least 45 minutes, because there are certain cats that I have been sort of allergic to, and I wanted to make sure this one wouldn't be one of them! But, I never had a problem. After an hour, Erin and Mike left me alone with my brand new pet. A cat. An animal I had always loved and wanted when I was growing up, but never could have because half my family are allergic to them! I didn't know what to name the kitty, so I just played with him (her?? it was too young to know what it actually was yet!) for awhile before I had to leave for a concert I was going to that night. Yep, I left that kitty alone for a few hours while I sang and danced with the Barenaked Ladies (a Canadian band)!! I got home, and while I was getting ready to go out for a little bit to a bar, the little kitty was at my feet staring up at me. I studied it for a bit....mostly orange fur, with white paws and a white chest. Since it was around the holidays, and since I didn't want to name it a girly or boyish name since I didn't know what it was yet, I decided on Mittens. Well, Mittens ended up being a boy, and he's also been the "love of my life" in the almost 8 years that I got him. Mittens got HUGE, and he is my mini-lion! I adore the little man (I am going through many of his acquired nicknames here lol), and I thank God every day for letting this bundle of fur into my life.

Besides all of the pets above, I have also had many betta fish over the last 7 years or so. I just love them, they are beautiful fish!! Since they can only live one fish per tank, or bowl, I have become addicted to glassware!

Well, out of all my pets, I really would have to say Mittens has been my favorite so far. I think that is because he has been the first pet I've had since being on my own. He's been there since I had to quit working. He's been around when I've felt crappy, or sad. He is like my kid, only with a ton of fur and 4 legs. Like I said earlier, I am so thankful he is in my life, and I sure hope he will be for many more years!!

(Holy cow, this post is long!!!! LOL! Guess I must really love my pets to remember this much!!)

Question #118 - What is my favorite area in nature?

Well, I live 5 minutes away from one of the greatest wonders in the world, Niagara Falls! You would think that I'd tire of seeing the Falls all the time, but it is one of the most peaceful places to go. Well, peaceful if you can find a spot where there aren't many tourists!! The power of the Falls is just amazing, and when I go visit (which I admit isn't often lately), the sound of the water falling is mesmerizing. I even love going down there at night, especially in the summer when they have fireworks shooting off from the Canadian side. It's hard to visit the Falls in the winter, but if I feel up to it, I just take a drive around. It's definitely a site that must be seen!!

Just A Brief Aside!

I just realized I was getting comments on my journal jar. lol I didn't set it up to get emails that someone left a comment. Oooops!! Anyway, I read through the ones I've gotten. Thank you to Deb and Jen, and occasionally Nancy! It means a lot, especially with this blog. Some of these questions are really tough to answer!! lol

By the way, I have a couple websites where I am getting the questions from. I hope they last me for awhile!! I just keep going down the list, and this is only one website I've used so far. They are pretty good!

Question #117 - Do I have a favorite sport, talent, etc?

I love hockey! Even though I don't get channels to actually watch games anymore, I still try to catch them when they are on. My dad played junior hockey when he was younger on a Canadian farm team. He actually got to play in 4 NHL games back then, for the Detroit Redwings. So, for that reason, Detroit is one of my favorite teams, along with the Buffalo Sabres! I have been to a few professional games, and I used to go to the club hockey games at Niagara University when I was a student, because I had friends on the team. I don't know what it is about hockey that I really like. Maybe it is the fast-paced style of the game!

I don't know what they mean by favorite talent, so I am going to interpret it as favorite actor/actress. I have always loved Sally Field and Tom Hanks. They have just been too great actors with many terrific performances! I also don't hear too much sleaze and stuff about them in the tabloids, which makes me like them even more!

Question #116 - Where is my most favorite place to go, what is it like?

Well here in my apartment, my favorite place is my bedroom. I think I mentioned this in another post. After I re-painted and picked my favorite color, red, to use as accents, it's a room that I just love to hang out in. If I need to rest or take a nap, that is where I go. In the summer time, with both windows open on a breezy day, it's fabulous! I get such a nice comforting cross-breeze, and relaxing in there feels that much better. In the winter, I like to have pajama days on a really cold day when I know I sure as heck am not going anywhere, and I'll curl up under a blanket and read. Now that I have my laptop, I won't have to be in the computer room that often, where it usually gets pretty cold and doesn't heat well. That's one of the big reasons I got the laptop, so I could get out of that room in the winter!!

As far as a physical place to go, I used to love going to my Grandma's when we were little. When we go there now, there is usually a lot of family around. She lives in a very quiet area of NY, and it's really beautiful, too. Her backyard is huge, and there is a hill where my mom and all her brothers and sisters used to climb up when they were younger. Trust me, I never even attempted to climb that hill!! LOL! But, my sistores and I used to take long walks along the creek, and I loved those adventures. The creek back then used to be flowing for the most part. I haven't been back there in years (I usually find it too tiring to walk all the way there), but I don't hear many people talking about the water. Anyway, that used to be one of my favorite places to go when I was little.

Nowadays, I know it isn't traveling far, but I love to go to Mandy's house. Of course, I get to see my niece and nephew! But I also get to see Mandy, and I miss having her here, even though they've been in their house for almost 4.5 years now. It's hard to go over there in the winter when it's freezing, but when it is ok to go out, and I need a change of scenery, I like to go over and hang out!!