After losing my goals and dreams for what I wanted 8 years ago when I had to quit my preschool teaching job, I am finally realizing that for so many people, what they originally wanted in life sometimes needs to be altered for various reasons. Although I grew up living with PH and congenital heart disease, that didn't mean I didn't have goals for myself. I had wanted to be a teacher ever since I was in the 8th grade. I never thought of anything else, it was my goal all through high school to go to college for a teaching degree, so I could one day have my own classroom. I achieved that goal, and started out on the teaching trail by subbing, then working in a daycare as a teacher, and then getting a preschool job at Headstart. I eventually moved out on my own, another goal accomplished, and I was pretty happy. I was also hoping to meet someone and get married, but there was no time frame in that. I was just living my life, working, going to grad school, and enjoying myself!
Everything changed the year I started getting really sick all the time. That was from 1999-2000. When I had to finally give up my dream and quit, I admit to being "lost" for awhile. What was I supposed to do now? While I did end up finishing my grad degree in early childhood, I couldn't use it in the capacity I wanted to, in the classroom. It was pretty devastating to realize a dream you've had for years needs to be dropped.
But the initial shock of not teaching anymore slowly wore off. After a few years, I was given an opportunity to change my goal in life. I was told that I should start a support group in the Buffalo/Niagara Falls region for PH patients living here. At first I scoffed at the idea. Me, talk in front of adults about PH?? I didn't feel I could do that, being that I'm usually shy around strangers and especially when I have to get in front of them to talk!! But I prayed about it, thought about it, contemplated it, and prayed some more. After about a week or so, I finally decided to go ahead and try it. And while I still get nervous talking in front of people, I do it, and it's because those people have told me how much they appreciate me starting a group. My new goal in life has been to help fellow PHers, whether in "real" life with my support group, or in the online community with all my new phamily. It's been a huge part in my life now, and I can't imagine doing much else!
Nancy said...
With a few changes your post could be about me. I wanted to teach since I was a child: I played "school" all the time. I made my teaching job my whole life, and when my PH brought my job to an end, I was in a tail spin. I was so depressed and angry, angry at everyone and everything. Now after three years of not teaching, I am enjoying my "new normal." I, too, started a support group. We are kindred spirits.
Jen said...
Your goals and dreams of helping fellow PHers ...well you do that each and everyday..You are such a special PHriend:))Keep doing what you do...Love & Hugs,Jen
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